Goodbye to the Past
by Only1ToniD
Summary: Songfic series : A serial of songfics starts following Jarly as they deal with Jason's plans to pledge himself to Sam and moves on to what comes next... 6 chapters, with 3 epilogues... and potential slices of life SOLs set prior to the final epilogue but WRITTEN after... The first SOL has M rating & future SOLs will notate rating as necessary...
1. Story 1: Letting Go

******Story #1: **Letting Go

Carly walked in and the past slammed into her like a slug to the chest. She took a moment to steady herself against the pain before continuing her forward motion. She gave the bar a slow once-over taking in each of the features that had meant so much. Their table, the pool table, the jukebox, the dance floor and the stairs—the stairway to Heaven. She began to chuckle, slightly hysterically.

_I know it's past tense  
It's been a minute since  
We were a couple  
And, walking and holding hands  
Kisses and 'I love you'  
Doing what lovers do  
Baby  
But baby that was then_

She stumbled toward the bar. Jake's was so empty even the bartender was missing. She considered calling out to Coleman, but figured he'd be around soon enough. Removing her coat and setting her purse on the bar, she climbed on the bar and reached down to find the bottle of tequila and a glass, then sat to fill the glass. Whoever said the first cut is the deepest has felt the extended torture of a slow, painful death. That's what being with Jason had become.

They had started out so instantaneously connected. It was just sex, but the connection was indescribable. But as time went on things went wrong and people couldn't wait to ruin what should have been the beginning of a truly unique, beautiful, and special bond. Robin, Tony, AJ, Sonny, Liz, Courtney, Lorenzo, Sam, and Jax. For a long time, she pondered how each person had worked to pervert what made them so beautiful until she realized the truth. No one could ruin their relationship without their permission. And Carly and Jason had obviously given it somewhere along the way. That's why they stood where they did now. On opposite sides of boundaries.

_'Cause now we don't  
Talk no more  
You gotta a new girl  
And, it shouldn't bother me  
But boy, it's driving me, crazy  
And everybody says  
Girl, why don't you just leave it alone  
But I don't think I can_

Boundaries.

It was what she had been waiting for the death knell for their incredible life together. Carly had known since the day she set eyes on the little lying tramp that she would be the one to ruin her life and break her heart. Sam. At the time, she could blame it on her being a home wrecker who was out to take her husband, but she could have cared less about that. Otherwise, she would have just fought harder for him instead of running to find comfort in Lorenzo's waiting arms—although the arms she longed for were really Jason's, but that was not an option then.

_I sit up all night  
Thinkin' about you  
And know it ain't right, baby  
But I don't  
I don't think, don't think that I  
That I can let go (Don't think I can let you know) (x2)_

No, she had taken one look at that tiny brunette's face and known she could take her Jason away. Robin and Liz had just been temporary. She knew they could never accept or handle the life of a man like Jason and all she had to do was push until they decided to push back and he would shake them loose. They were Jason's attempt at being Jason Quartermaine for those who missed him. He hated failing people and his inability to fill that role would have grated on his psyche. They were balm to his ego. But Sam. She was a problem. Not because she was Jason's soulmate or the woman he loved with all of his heart, but because she was a dangerous combination of everything Jason craved.

_I'm holdin' on to hope  
I know it's a foolish thought  
Think that someday he might come back  
Wish on it all the time  
Knowin' it never may happen  
But see I'm not a fool_

Carly had immediately recognized a lot of herself in the devious brunette. A broken woman from a shady past unafraid to get her hands dirty to get what she wanted. She could feel the desperate need to be loved and accepted that matched her own along with a schemer's core. They were two of a kind, her and Sam—the kind of women destined to be the best of friends or the worst of enemies. But she was able to pull off being the two things Carly couldn't be for Jason: a petite brunette martyr and safe to his heart. Sam could NEVER wreck Jason the way Carly could so she was the safer choice, and with Sam he got the best of both worlds. See Sam was an even better liar than Carly because while Carly could never completely believe the lie she told herself with Sonny… Sam believed hers. And Jason ate it up.

'_Cause no we don't  
Talk no more  
You gotta new girl  
But, I'm gonna keep the faith  
I've got the patience  
That some lack...  
But everybody says  
Boy why don't you just leave it alone  
But I don't think I can'_

She had done it all wrong the first time around… See Sam had thought what everyone else did… that it was the martyr that was going to win his heart for the long haul. A broken sob escaped her as she poured another couple of fingers. No one wanted to acknowledge that his heart was Carly's.

Always had been.

Everyone tried to break their connection, but no one could because no one seemed realized that Jason loved her for what she was—and not in spite of it. And Sam could genuinely be enough of those qualities to confuse his love. She was just enough like Carly to make him believe all of that love he felt was for her. So Sam focused on that, the second time around. And Jason never stood a chance. Carly had been waiting for this and fearing it. When Brenda came back, she knew it was too much because as clingy as Brenda could be Sam's insecurity where she was concerned wouldn't last. No, she would eventually look to use Brenda to replace Carly in Jason's life. But it hadn't worked, nothing ever worked for very long. Then came Jake's death and Jason was blindsided. The loss weakened him and she had sunk her claws and forced that wedge just a little deeper.

_I sit up all night  
Thinkin' about you  
And know it ain't right, baby  
But I don't  
I don't think, don't think that I  
That I can let go (Don't think I can let you know)(2x)_

She knocked back more of potent liquor just to feel the burn. She hadn't been able to explain to him why the pain ran so deep until he had said that word. He was pushing her away again. Every time it was just a little farther than the last. And her hope was dying a little more with each loss. Carly's soul was dying. All her hopes and dreams of true everlasting love had been pinned on one man who could never love her enough to put aside his fears. Now he was marrying someone else and she had to figure out how to let go. And Carly was desperately afraid that that was not a trait she really possessed.

_I don't think I can let you go  
I can't let you go  
No...  
I don't think that I can let you go  
Let go...  
And everybody says...  
And I don't think I can..._

Carly heard a noise and looked up suddenly to see that her once full bottle of tequila had about three fingers left. As she began pouring, she looked towards the door to see who was coming in on such a dead night.

She saw Spinelli enter first, but knew instantly he wasn't alone. She felt him before she saw him. Looking away quickly, she reached over the bar to grab another bottle just as Coleman came to the front.

"What's shakin', guys?" Coleman asked before noticing Carly reaching behind the bar. "Well, little lady how long you been here? We're closed to stock for tomorrow night's party."

"Good, barkeep," Spinelli began babbling, "I assure you the gentle Valkyrie would always be welcome to celebrate the auspicious occasion of the Master's nuptials. Wait, did you say tomorrow because I assure tonight was supposed to be the night of the festivities."

Carly zoned out of the conversation as she focused on emptying her old bottle of tequila and starting on her newest victim. She could feel his eyes on her waiting as Coleman and Spinelli stepped away to discuss what she assumed was meant to be Jason's bachelor party. He took the seat beside her, and she grumbled, "Don't mind me. I'm in mourning. No intentions of disturbing your big night. Just here for a drink or ten."

He was silent for another moment before responding, "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"You have no idea," she mumbled lifting her glass to take a deeper drink. He took the glass away and downed it. "I'm a Spencer. We don't come with limits. But you used to know that."

"Tequila," he growled, and she practically feel the liquid burned a path to his gut. "What's wrong?"

"I already told you," she snarled, grabbing another glass and filling it. "Now, you can either shut up and drink or go back to your impending bachelor party, but either way I don't care to hear anything you have to say."

_I sit up all night  
Thinkin' about you  
And know it ain't right, baby  
But I don't  
I don't think, don't think that I  
That I can let go (Don't think I can let you know)  
__**~Let Go, Ne-Yo**_

So they sat in silence and Carly once again was left to wonder how they had come to this place. He was so close, and yet so far away. She sat there trying to figure out if she would ever learn the greatest lesson of her life and if Jason would once again be the one to teach her: the art of letting go.


	2. Story 2: Impossible

** Author's** **Note:**_I know that first one was PRETTY angsty, but I think you need not worry that I'll be going for Carly heartbreak... NO WAY could I as a DIE NEVER Jarly fan go put my girl through all this without a pay off! Maybe if it were a one shot, but this is NOT! Just remember that sometimes things have to get **WORSE** before they get better and you'll make it through! In the mean time, thanks for reading and reviewing!_

* * *

**********Story #2: **Impossible

He watched her, trying desperately to read her like he used to, but as seems to be the case more and more she was not as easy to read as she once was. There was a time when she was clear as glass to him. but that seemed so long ago as he tried to figure out the one woman who could always keep him guessing, even when he knew her as well as he knew himself.

"Carly, what's going on? I want to help you," he began carefully. "But you have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."

_It's impossible  
It's impossible to love you  
If you don't let me know what you're feeling  
It's impossible for me to give you what you need  
If you're always hidin' from me_

Releasing a bitter laugh, Carly snarled, "What could you possibly do to help me? I haven't been your priority in years. You just stuck it out because you felt too guilty to cut me loose." She paused to take a shot.

"Drink up! It's your bachelor party! Why won't you learn to loosen up and have fun? It's like if I'm not forcing you to play pool or having sex with you, you don't know how to enjoy yourself. Not that you've bothered to get me off in years… decades really."

Why was he doing this? This is how he always dragged her in. He pretended to care and she fell for it. Then she would fight tooth and nail for some scrap of his attention and defend their relationship to God and everybody while he just… did nothing. She used to know with a certainty that what they had was a true connection. That they weren't just friends or exes, but soulmates bonded. It meant something, but now as she stared into his icy blue gaze, she saw nothing of the man she'd given her life to.

_I don't know what hurt you  
I just, I wanna make it right  
Cuz boy I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind_

"Carly," he warned, fearing where she was going in her drunken haze. Carly never talked to him this way. Ever. It only scared him more and made him afraid of where their bond was that she could attack him this way without provocation. This wasn't the normal venting before she told him everything that was on her mind. No, this was different. Jason felt fear slowly filling him until he was afraid to breathe so for the next hour they drank in silence as the tension built and he tried to figure out how to help her.

_Impossible to make it easy  
If you always tryin' to make it so damn hard  
How can I, how can I give you all my love, baby  
If you're always, always puttin' up your guard_

She felt her rage build with each drink, but when she heard three words float hauntingly from the jukebox, she snapped.

"Shut that off!" She snapped savagely in the direction of the jukebox.

Spinelli turned from the jukebox to bravely attempt to explain, "But Valkyrie, you must know that this is one of Stone Cold's favorite songs! I—"

"TURN IT OFF! NOW!" she screamed cutting him off. Coleman hurried out to pull the plug as she turned to Jason who was braced for the storm.

"Did I never mean ANYTHING to you? How dare you play our song at the bachelor party for your wedding to that _**WOMAN**_?!"

"Carly—" Jason attempted to take her hand to calm.

"Don't you dare!" She snarled, snatching her hand away only to think better of it and slap him. "You disgust me! I have forgiven you for everything and still given you everything I had to give! I married that sick, twisted freak you proudly call your best friend, and fought to make the family I wanted with you with him until it broke my mind!

"Was any of that enough for you to finally forgive me for sleeping with Sonny?! No! November 30, 1999 will forever remain my albatross with you and I'm sick of it!"

_This is not a circus  
Don't you play me for a clown  
How long can emotions keep on goin' up and down_

"That's not true, Carly," he asserted. "And it's enough, come on. I'm taking you home."

"First of all, you swear you hate lying and liars, but you're the biggest liar of them all because you lie to yourself every single day, but I'm done buying what you're selling. And secondly, I'm not going home tonight. And even if I was, I wouldn't go there or anywhere else with you!" she sneered and grabbing her purse and jacket, she swept past him toward the backstairs.

Jason took one look at where she was headed and felt his anger and resentment grow. He rushed over to her and tossed her over his shoulder.

"We're gonna settle this once and for all, Carly."

And he continued up the stairs to his old room finally determined to deal with the most painful and most important relationship in his life.

_It's impossible (impossible)  
Oh baby it's impossible for me to love you  
It's the way it is  
It's impossible (impossible)  
Oh baby it's impossible  
If you makin' it this way  
__**~Impossible, Christina Aguilera**_

Tossing her on the bed, Jason faced his demons as memories flooded him.

"Why are you doing this, Carly? Why are you making us do this?"

"Because in a matter of days, I lose you. And this time, I've decided to give up without a fight, so that means I need to find closure… I need to understand." She sighed, dropping her face into her hands. "I just knew you loved me. Even through the rejections and the pain, I believed in it. Then, I saw you trying to recreate the past… again. I knew once I saw you with Little Lizzie that you had forgiven Robin, otherwise you wouldn't be falling for her clone.

"It was like you refused to see that you had me. I was devoted. I fought for you and I kept your secrets. I would do anything for you then and now. But it was never enough. Sure, I screwed up, but it hurt to know that no matter what I was never gonna come first, even after everything she did. You have forgiven Robin, Liz, and Sam everything they've ever done to you. What's so wrong with me, Jason? I've been more faithful and devoted than all of them together, why was I never deserving of your forgiveness?"

"I forgave you a long time ago. I told you that."

"Talk is cheap, Jason. And your actions speak louder than your words. If you forgave me, like you said, then why didn't I get my second chance? Or rather my first real chance?"


	3. Story 3: Unthinkable

******Story #3:** Unthinkable

_Moment of honesty  
Someone's gotta take the lead tonight  
Whose it gonna be?  
I'm gonna sit right here  
And tell you all that comes to me  
If you have something to say  
You should say it right now  
(You should say it right now)  
You ready?_

"Talk is cheap, Jason. And your actions speak louder than your words. If you forgave me, like you said, then why didn't I get my second chance? Or rather my first real chance?"

"Carly, you were in love with Sonny," he sighed sadly, grasping for the only defense he could think of.

"Bullshit! I begged you to take me and Michael away, but you just kept pushing until I was convinced you wanted me with Sonny." She looked into his eyes steadily and they were suddenly more sober than only seconds before. "Why could you never forgive me?"

"Because you hurt me! So I closed off the part of me that you could touch," he finally whispered. "I thought if I kept you away, you'd never hurt me again. Because no one has ever hurt me like you."

"Because no can make you feel more. Because no one can love you more." She laughed tearily as she pulled her knees into her chest. "You know what's funny? You were always afraid of me wrecking you, but you were always more responsible for wrecking me than anyone. You made me trust you only to betray me, and then abandoned me with that psycho Sonny. And don't ever defend him to me again. I lied about his part in my breakdown. You know it was you. I could feel you slipping away, then you looked into my eyes as if I were a stranger and abandoned me all over again."

"I never betrayed you, Carly. I—"

"Oh, please. You betrayed me the second my back was turned. You always asked me when I started losing faith in you. Well, I'm done trying to spare your feelings. It was that day in the Port Charles Grille when you nonchalantly admitted that Robin knew. Then, later, you admitted that Sonny knew. Two people who hated me more than anything and you trusted them with my son… the child that was supposed to be ours, but even he wasn't more important than your allegiances to Sonny and Robin. This was the woman who had already proven that she could not be trusted because she had already betrayed you by asking Sonny to fire you."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Then she turns around and puts our child in danger not once, but twice over Tony. First, by trying to 'talk sense' into Tony, and getting herself kidnapped. Then, by testifying on his behalf at his trial."

"Carly," he rasped tears filling his throat as he began to finally see where they had gone wrong years ago.

Carly continued as if she couldn't hear him, "None of that was enough for you to see because even after all that, you brought her into my home and let her play replacement mommy in my absence. You moved me out of my home and tried to make me accept your rules at her Martha Stewart knockoff cottage. All I ever dreamed about was us together and in love and finally a family. Why could you never give me that?"

_You give me a feeling that I never felt before  
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it  
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore  
And I can't take it_

Jason pulled her into his arms as she cried out all of her pain and confusion. He felt something on his face, and reached up to find it was his own tears.

"I didn't know, Carly, and I'm so sorry I never realized," he whispered beginning to feel whole as he just sat there holding her through the worst of her sobs. "I never meant to hurt you. Never."

As her sobs subsided, the hands that clung to his shirt became stronger and more sure. He looked down at her tear-streaked face and brushed the moisture away. He began kissing her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, and the corners of her mouth. Carly remained still under his tender onslaught as if in fear of frightening him away.

When his mouth reached hers, his lips brushed the gentlest kiss over her mouth. Her lips tingled from the feel of his mouth touching hers, but she was shocked when he brushed another slightly more firm kiss.

_I was wondering maybe  
Could I make you my baby  
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy  
If you ask me I'm ready  
([Echo:] I'm ready, I'm ready)  
If you ask me I'm ready  
([Echo:] I'm ready, I'm ready)_

Carly had been waiting for this moment since she realized she was in love with him. _Jason was kissing her. HE was kissing HER! _And the kiss that had started so tender and sweet was steadily deepening and growing in passion until she almost lost all sense of time and place.

"Jason, wait," Carly gasped pulling away. "I—"

"Let me love you, Carly," he begged breathing heavily. "Let me love you the way you always deserved. Can't you feel it?"

_I know you once said to me  
"This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be."  
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually?  
If we gon' do something 'bout it,  
We should do it right now.  
(We should do it right now.)  
Baby, uh_

With every kiss, Jason felt more alive than he had in years. And each new sensation was like a new part of him being unleashed. Jason finally understood what Carly had been saying to him all these years. He had let himself overthink his whole life and now he was feeling everything. Not just the bare minimums he'd allowed himself with Carly over the years, but everything. Every thought, feeling, and emotion he'd held locked away, all of the love and passion and tenderness, he was giving to her.

_You give me a feeling that I never felt before  
And I deserve it, I know I deserve it.  
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore.  
It's what we make it._

He'd tried to have this with other women, but they were never her. They emotions were never this strong. The highs were never as high, just like the lows were never so low. He could feel her under his skin. Her moans were like the sweetest music. Her flavors were as addictive as ever. Her every touch perfect in every way. It was like she knew when to be gentle and when he needed more. She knew his body, his mind, and his heart better than anyone, and they were finally making love and it was more than he'd ever hoped

_I was wondering maybe  
Could I make you my baby?  
If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?  
Or would it be so beautiful? Either way I'm sayin'.  
If you ask me, I'm ready.  
([Echo:] I'm ready I'm ready)  
If you ask me, I'm ready.  
([Echo:] I'm ready)_

_Why give up before we try  
Feel the lows before the highs  
Clip our wings before we fly away  
I can't say I came prepared  
I'm suspended in the air  
Won't you come be in the sky with me_

She had never felt like this with anyone, except Jason, but even now, it was more. The feel of his hand and mouth on her body took her to new heights. But with every second that passed, fear grew with a sense of elation. What if he stopped? What if he rejected her yet again? How would she ever be okay again?

When she couldn't stand the wait any longer, he seemed to know. His head rose from her body and his gaze locked with hers, as he hovered just outside of her.

"I'm ready," she whispered reading the question in his eyes, which darkened upon hearing her response.

He plunged deeply, his gaze never releasing hers. Together they drove themselves to a peak neither had ever experienced. When they reached completion and their bodies lay sated, Carly turned to Jason and whispered something that stopped his heart.

_I was wondering maybe  
Could I make you my baby  
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy  
Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'  
If you ask me I'm ready  
([Echo:] I'm ready, I'm ready)  
If you ask me I'm ready  
([Echo:] I'm ready, I'm ready)  
__**~Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready), Alicia Keyes**_

_**Thank you for letting me come home, Jase.**_

The words echoed through his mind as he held her in her sleep. Had that been what that was? Coming home? It had certainly been the most powerful lovemaking of his entire life, but was he really ready throw away everything he'd built with Sam for a chance with Carly? He knew the answer to the question immediately as looked at Carly. The real question was if he was truly ready to lose a woman he had loved for so long to do it.


	4. Story 4: Time To Say Goodbye

** Authors Note: **This story will likely be updated on Sundays going forward... That way I'll update LIBF, TTS, and GTTPS... Thanks as ALWAYS for reading and the AMZEBALLS reviews...

MyOtherRidesAnImpala -I know I already responded, but for others who are curious- Firstly, thanks for the awesome review... In regards to the Carly I write, I DO try to just keep her in character in GENERAL, BUT as I am a MAJOR SJB fan, for me, it often is VERY heavily colored by Sarah Brown's Carly. For me, she GOT the CORE of Carly... She inspires my muse and is the ONLY Carly I invision when writing for Carly/Jarly, however I have been known to snag aspects of the OTHER protrayers of Carly as well-even JB, who I think was an EXCELLENT actress, but ill-suited for the role of the chemistry-riddled femme fatale that is Carlybabes... One thing that is a CONSTANT, no matter how ubiquitously and ambiguously I try to write the character, she will ALWAYS have brown eyes so if YOU are seeing LW... add contacts! :D

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**********Story #4: **Time to Say Goodbye

Sam came bouncing into the penthouse with arms full of binders. She was so excited because very soon she would live there and be Mrs. Jason Morgan. Well, she would if she could ever manage to get through all of the decisions Maxie had left her. She didn't even notice her fiancé standing by the window in the darkened dining room at first. Then he turned around and she felt the smile splitting her face.

_Look we gotta talk  
Dang I know  
I know it's just  
It's just...  
Some things I gotta get off my chest alright...  
Yeahhhh... Whoa... Listen…_

"Jason!" she chirped excited to see him until she noticed he didn't return her excitement. "Jason, what's wrong?"

Sam noticed his hesitation as he came toward her and had to fight the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Sam, we need to talk," he said quietly.

"Jason, just—" Sam couldn't finish over the lump growing in her throat. She cleared her throat, and continued, "Just tell me what is wrong? And we'll figure out how to fix it."

He stared at her for a moment and her fear grew. "I'm not sure how to say this. But I need you to know I do love you."

_Baby come here and sit down, let's talk  
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by  
Saying that I love you,  
But you know, this thing ain't been  
No walk in the park for us  
I swear it'll only take a minute  
You'll understand when I finish, yeah  
And I don't wanna see you cry  
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so_

"I know you do," she rushed to reassure him. "And you know I love you more than anything, Jason."

"Sam," Jason sighed a little nervous and frustrated. "Just let me say what I need to say. Ok?"

She was quick to nod her agreement. "Sure," she said. "You know you can tell me anything. You can trust me with anything, Jason."

He took a deep breath and told her, "I was with Carly last night."

Sam sucked in a breath as her mind processed. "That's all?" She chuckled in confusion. "I know you said you were gonna be with Spinelli last night, but you didn't have to lie to spend time with Carly. I know you guys are friends. She never lets anyone forget that you guys are _best friends_." She snorted.

"No, Sam," he cut her off in annoyance. "That isn't what I meant."

_How do you let it go? When you,  
You just don't know? What's on,  
The other side of the door  
When you're walking out, talk about it  
Everything I tried to remember to say  
Just went out my head  
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand  
'cause I know_

"Then what did you mean?" Sam asked her nerves returning. "You said that you were with Carly last night."

"We had sex, Sam," he admitted, sadly. "I cheated on you with Carly."

"How?" she whispered brokenly her eyes fixed on the stack of binders full of details for their wedding.

"Spinelli had planned to rent out Jake's for the night," Jason explained. "But there was some confusion about the night so Carly was already there and she was getting pretty drunk. She was upset about some things and we talked and drank a lot. She—I told her I would take her home, but she refused to leave. She wanted to stay in my old room one last time. We ended up talking some more and—"

"And you fucked her," Sam finished in disgust. When a nod was his only response, she snapped. "That whore got you drunk and lured you upstairs at Jake's so you'd screw her and dump me. That sneaky bitch! I knew she wasn't gonna let this go."

"Sam, no!" Jason asserted. "Carly was as drunk as I was—actually she was way more drunk than I was. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it was my fault. I cheated on you. Not Carly."

17

"Don't you dare defend her to me!" Sam screamed, picking up one of her binders and throwing it at him.

_Girl I know your heart is breaking  
And a thousand times I  
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"  
Why am I taking so long to say this?  
But trust me, girl I never  
Meant to crush your world and I never  
Thought I would see the day we grew apart  
And I wanna know_

"Look, Sam," Jason tried to continue reasonably. "I know you're hurt and angry. And I deserve it, but Carly did not do this intentionally. It's not her fault I'm still—"

"It's not her fault you're still what?" she asked her voice hoarse with fear.

"It's not her fault you're still what, Jason?!"

"It's not her fault I'm still in love with her," he whispered.

_How do you let it go? When you,  
You just don't know? What's on,  
The other side of the door  
When you're walking out, talk about it  
Girl I hope you understand  
What I'm tryna say.  
We just can't go on  
Pretending that we get along  
Girl how you not gonna see it?_

"No!" she yelled in tears shaking her head. "She has somehow convinced you that you guys have some great love story and you're meant to be, but I know the truth. You love me, Jason. You asked me to marry you. You want to spend your life with me, Jason."

"I did," Jason hurried to respond. "I mean, I do. I mean—"

"What do you mean?" Sam whimpered as she finally tried to make eye contact.

"Are you saying you don't love me anymore? After one night with her?"

"Ye—no—I don't know," Jason answered giving her his confused gaze.

_Listen to your heart  
Girl you know,  
We should be apart, baby I  
I just can't do it  
I, I just can't do it_

_Listen to your heart  
Girl you know,  
We should be apart, baby I  
I just can't do it  
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh [4x]_

_Do you hear me crying?_

_Oh, oh, oh [4x]_

"You don't know!" she exclaimed in rage and pain. Jason reached out to comfort her, but she slapped his hands away. "No! Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry, Sam," he rasped desperately. "I never meant for this to happen."

"For what to happen, Jason?" Sam snapped. "For you to cheat on me? For you to fall into bed with the whore you call your best friend? For you to think you're suddenly in love with her? What?"

"Look, Sam," he attempted. "I do love you. I know that I feel that, but I love her too. I thought I made myself stop because we could never work that way. I thought I had pushed it down far enough."

"What do you mean you love us both?" she cried. "You know what I don't care. I love you and you love me. I can forgive this because I love you, but considering her lack of respect for simple boundaries, I need to know you aren't going see her again. I understand you have people in common, but that friendship has to end or we do."

_There's never a right time to say goodbye  
But I gotta make the first move  
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me  
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you  
Girl, it's not you, it's me  
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)  
There's never a right time to say goodbye  
But we know that we gotta go  
Our separate ways  
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,  
And it's killing me  
Cause there's never a right time  
Right time to say goodbye  
__**~Say Goodbye, Chris Brown**_

Jason stared at her in shock. "You want me to—?"

"You heard me, Jason," she said again becoming calmer. _Jason would never choose her over me. Never choose that needy tramp over our future. _"I can't trust you with my whole heart around her. She has this way of manipulating you into doing anything for her. I mean, you cheated on me and slept with her! She got you drunk and lured you to bed, and you're still defending her!"

"That's not how it happened, Sam," he groaned in frustration. "She didn't seduce me or get me drunk. She was more drunk than I was. I took advantage of her, Sam. And I won't cut her out my life."

Sam stared at the stranger in front of her. This was the man she was supposed to marry. She had thought she finally found the love of her life. The man she could love with everything she had and would love her just the same. However, in that moment, she realized the man she wanted had already given his heart away long before she had ever come along and had never bothered to get it back.

As she stared into his blue eyes, she felt the part of her heart that loved him break off and die. She nodded her acceptance and turned to leave.

She grabbed her jacket and hesitated at the door.

"She doesn't deserve you, but I hope you can finally be happy and stop dragging the rest of us into your epic love story. Because we don't deserve this," she said softly without turning to look at him. Having spoken her piece, she opened the door and fled the penthouse for the last time.


	5. Story 5: Who Knew?

**Author's Note:**_ Dear reader, I beg of you to remember the old adage: It's always darkest before the dawn. It will make reading this MUCH more bareable! I thank you for your trust and your continued interest in my humble series and other fics!_

**********Story #5:** Who Knew?

_You took my hand  
You showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
Uh huh  
That's right  
I took your words  
And I believed  
In everything  
You said to me  
Yeah huh  
That's right_

She woke up all alone clutching his pillow as the last of his warmth faded. With so many conflicting emotions swarming her, it was overwhelming. She shifted carefully until she was sitting up in bed with the sheet and his pillow gripped to her chest. The aches and pains of being loved by a man as sexually extreme as Jason Morgan came with repercussions. It was a real head rush to experience the emotional rollercoaster running through her head—the joy of making love with the man she loved, the despair of waking up alone, and everything in between.

_If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong  
I know better  
Cause you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew_

Looking around the dank little room, she tried to remember why it had once seemed so special to her. It was a cold, dark, lifeless room. He was the only person who could do this to her. Make her feel special and loved with a look or a touch and leave her feeling dirty and worthless with his absence. She was almost afraid to look for a note. He was in love and engaged and she had messed with that. He was too honest to try to hide that and his fiancé would forgive him and demand those boundaries become even stricter.

_Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no  
No, no  
I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything_

Anyone looking at Carly in those moments of reflection would see a broken version of the woman everyone loved to hate. She had gone too far and now when he mended things with Sam, she would really lose him. Carly was sure she would be blamed. After all, she was a homewrecker and a slut. Sonny would hear about it and probably sue to regain parental rights and custody of Morgan. And without Jason there to stop it, she would lose. But this wasn't her fault, was it? At least not all her fault. She had tried to stop, but when could she ever say no to Jason? And now it would cost her everything.

_When someone said count your blessings now  
'fore they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong  
They knew better  
Still you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew_

_Yeah. Yeah.  
I'll keep you locked in my head  
Until we meet again  
Until we  
Until we meet again  
And I won't forget you my friend  
What happened_

As she thought of all of the good times that would forever be in the past now, she started to cry. She sat naked and alone, curled up in a ball as despair threatened to break her all the way down. How could she live without games of pool, slow dances to the jukebox, and heart-to-hearts that proved their bond without words ever being spoken? Who would she be without Jason in her life?

At first, she didn't hear the ringing of her cell phone through the sound of her own crying. Thinking of her kids and afraid to hope it was him, she followed the sound of her phone's ring and reached over the side of the bed for it_. It must have fallen there when we…_

"Hello?" she chirped trying to swallow her pain and her tears. "Hey, Shawn."

_If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong and  
That last kiss  
I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
And time makes  
It harder.  
I wish I could remember.  
But I keep  
Your memory.  
You visit me in my sleep.  
My darling  
Who knew?_

"Yeah, I should be heading that way soon," Carly answered feeling a smile fighting its way free. "See you there." _Maybe I won't be completely alone, she thought._

She rubbed a hand over her face and got out of the bed. She looked down and noticed a slip of paper beside the bed: _We'll talk later. _She stared at the slip of paper until the words blurred. Lifting it to her lips, Carly pressed a gentle kiss on it until she realized she was treating a crumpled piece of paper with a total of three words on it like a Shakespearean sonnet that detailed his eternal love for her. _So stupid. _Her hand tightened into a fist and she threw it as far away from her as she could. Carly's eyes hardened as she worked to rebuild her resolve not to let him do it again. She ran her hands through the tousled weight of her hair and headed to the bathroom—to wash away his scent and every other reminder of their night together.

_My darling, my darling  
Who knew  
My darling  
I miss you  
My darling  
Who knew  
Who knew  
__**~Who Knew, Pink**_

She wrapped one towel around her snuggly. Then, while running the other towel over her hair, she exited the bathroom. She felt him before she saw him. But when Carly finally looked up, she was as careful to conceal her emotions as he was.

"I'm back," Jason replied stoically watching her for any sign of reaction.

"Yes," she replied simply. "You are."


	6. Story 6: I'd Rather

**********Author's Note:** _Here's where I INITIALLY thought this story ENDED, but I was WRONG... it kept going for 3 more epilogues and so far one SOL! XD My muse can be VERY unexpected! _

OXOXOXOXOXO  
Toni

* * *

**********Story #6:** **I'd Rather**

"I talked to Sam," Jason began feeling nervous around her for the first time in years.

Carly's response was to start picking up her clothes and toss them on the desk.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well," he murmured clearing his throat and trying not to be obvious as his eyes kept being drawn to her freshly showered, nearly nude body. "It didn't go well."

"Oh, really," she replied just barely withholding her sarcasm. "How did you expect it to go?"

"Well, not quite the way it did," he answered honestly as he turned to watch her as she pulled clean clothes from the drawers. "Coleman lets you keep clothes here?"

"You were saying about your conversation with Sam?" she said refusing to let him change the subject. "How did you expect it to go?"

"I went there to tell her the truth," he explained. He took a deep breath. "And to ask for us to take a break from our relationship."

Carly froze unsure if she had heard right and of what to say or think even if she had. "Oh?" she squeaked feeling overwhelmed.

"Yeah. I realized that I needed some time to figure out how I felt and if I was ready for what that would mean for the rest of my life."

_I thought sometime alone  
was what we really needed  
you said this time would hurt more than it helps  
but I couldn't see that  
I thought it was the end  
of a beautiful story  
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)_

_And I tried to find  
out if this one thing is true  
that I'm nothing without you  
I know better now  
and I've had a change of heart_

"That sounds like a reasonable idea to me," Carly responded trying to keep the hope from drowning her.

"Yeah, me too," he acknowledged nodding his head. Then he locked up and caught her with his deep blue gaze. "See, I fell in love with this girl and things went wrong, but she stayed my best friend."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he assented with a nod. "See, I figured that we could never work so I tried to move on with my life and convinced her to do the same."

"Uh-huh," she uttered clutching the shirt she held as if her very life depended on it.

"We both ended up falling in and out of love with other people," he continued. "But it never worked. I was married once, and about to get married again until I finally realized I was still in love with my best friend."

_And then I met someone  
and thought she could replace you  
we got along just fine  
we wasted time because she was not you  
we had a lot of fun  
though we knew we were faking  
love was not impressed with our connection  
they were all lies, all lies  
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true  
that I'm nothing without you  
I know better now  
and I've had a change of heart_

Everything inside Carly rioted. Jason loved her. He was IN love with HER.

Speechless, she continued to stare into his incredible cerulean gaze, holding her breath. Her eyes telegraphed a message she desperately needed him to heed: _Please, don't take it back. Choose me._

"But I never got the chance to suggest we take a break," he continued into the tense silence.

"Yo-you didn't?" she managed. "Wh-why not?"

"Because she told me she could forgive me," he replied quietly, "on one condition."

"R-r-really," she said turning away and shivering as fear and hope battled within her. "Wh-wh-wha-wha-wha—"

"What was the condition?" he offered reading her mind. "Well, I was given an ultimatum: Either I recommit to her and completely cut you out of my life as my best friend or it was over between us."

Carly felt her whole body convulse and her knees become weak. Her hands gripped the dresser to keep from falling. She felt too overwhelmed to even cry. Feeling like her whole world depended on his answer, she swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to speak, "What did you choose?"

"What do I always choose when it's down to the wire?" he replied moving to stand behind her. He whispered his answer against her temple, "I chose you."

_I'd rather have bad times with you,  
than good times with someone else  
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,  
than safe and warm by myself  
I'd rather have hard times together,  
than to have it easy apart  
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart  
who holds my heart_

She began to collapse and he caught her. "You did?"

"And I always will," he promised. "I realized when it came down to it, even after all this time, that while I could see my life without Sam in it, I still can't imagine my life without you. You drive me crazy, and you pull insane stunts. And you make the simplest things so, so difficult, but I can't live my life without you in it."

"Jase?" she whimpered the tears finally freed. She hesitated unsure what to do or say.

_I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,  
I can only prove the things I say with time, please be mine,_

"Listen to me, Carly," Jason said urgently. "I am so sorry I wasted so much time on fear, but if you trust me just one more time, I will never let you down again. I finally realized that every bad decision and mistake I've ever made was because I wasn't with you. It was because I kept trying to force myself to love and make a life with someone who wasn't you."

"So now you're saying you don't love Sam?" she asked so afraid and hopeful and confused.

"No," he answered. "I won't deny I'll always love her, just like you'll always Sonny and Jax, but we'll never love anyone else the way we love each other. That is if I haven't ruined my chances with you."

Carly's phone rang as she thought about that she had ever dreamed of being within her reach. She walked to the bed and picked up her phone.

"Shawn?" she answered recognizing the number. "Yeah, I know." She paused and turned to meet Jason's nervous, but love-filled gaze. "I'm sorry, but there's been a change of plans. I'm right where I need to be right now. Tell Mercedes we'll be by later."

A smile began filling his face as she spoke that corresponded with the joy filling hers. "Me and Jason. We're finally going to make it home." Jason began making his way to her side lust joining the love in his eyes. "Right. Uh-huh. I gotta go now. Bye."

She tossed the cell phone on the night table as Jason reached her side.

"Jase, I've been waiting for you since the day I set eyes on you. If I haven't given up on you yet, after everything, you're never getting rid of me."

"Do you promise?" he begged hoarsely.

"Til death do us part," she vowed as his mouth met hers in a kiss that left her feeling tipsy.

"And to think, I didn't even have to cop you a ring," he chuckled.

"Not yet, anyway," she grinned with a twinkle of cunning filling her eyes. "I think I earned a pretty spectacular and splashy proposal and wedding, don't you?"

"Ah, Carly," he groaned letting his forehead fall to hers.

"But if the proposal and the engagement ring are good enough, I might be persuaded to lighten up on the actual wedding," she giggled when he groaned again. "As long as it's very clear that it's you and me forever and ever, I could really care less, Jase. I just want to be your wife. I love you so much, Jason Morgan."

"And there is no one I'd rather be than your husband," Jason admitted. "I love you, too, Carly Roberts-Benson-Spencer, soon-to-be Morgan. I love you, too."

_I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),  
than good times with someone else (surely)  
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),  
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)  
I'd rather have hard times together,  
than to have it easy apart (you know it)  
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart  
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart  
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart  
whoooo...who holds my heart  
__**~I'd Rather, Luther Vandross**_


	7. Epilogue 1: This Christmas

**Author's Note:** _The incomparable IlovetowriteSMP was gracious enough to continue as beta for this series with this fic... THANK YOU SO MUCH, Sara!_

* * *

**Epilogue #1: This Christmas**

_Hang all the mistletoe  
I'm gonna get to know you better, yeah  
This Christmas_

Carly stepped out of the kitchen and grinned at the sight that greeted her. It was her idea of Heaven on Earth. Michael stood tall and proud by the Christmas tree, whispering into the phone to his new friend, Steffy. They had met when Jason had the idea for Michael to join her while scouting the site for The MetroCourt in LA. Steffy was… well, she reminded Carly all too much of herself, but she had a good heart and was fiercely loyal. Who would have thought meeting up with an old associate and her granddaughter for lunch would have changed so much? Now she was likely to lose her oldest baby to the West Coast as he was now bound and determined to take charge of—or at least have a hand in—the construction, startup, and operations of the new hotel. He'd even been looking into enrolling in classes at UCLA. Jason just had to keep reminding her that it was better to lose him to love and success in LA than a bomb or a bullet from the power-madness Sonny's business had once been synonymous with.

In front of the roaring fireplace, the rest of her little gathering was huddled close hard at work. Morgan held Josslyn as they tried to help Jason and Shawn hang a string of lights high above the mantel.

"Dad, more to the left," Morgan called out.

"Yeah, Dada Jase. Left!" Josslyn demanded with a happy giggle.

Carly's heart warmed and turned over in her chest every time her kids acknowledged Jason's place in their lives. Josslyn loved Jax, and for her, he would always be her "Daddy", but somewhere along the way she had taken to calling Jason "Dada Jase". Once Jax recognized the seriousness of their relationship and the futility of fighting it, he'd accepted Jason's place and they had made a truce for all of the kids' sakes.

Unfortunately, nothing could ever be so simple with Sonny. Finding out about their reunion had only made his unraveling worse. By the time Jason moved in with her and the kids, Sonny finally snapped and vanished, but not before completely alienating both Michael and Morgan, who had both resorted to changing their names... to Michael and Spencer Morgan—although the family still referred to Spencer as Morgan. That brought another major adjustment where the boys chose to start calling Jase "Dad" leaving their former "father" to be relegated to "Uncle Sonny".

Jason had been forced to take over the business and was on the verge of having to kill Sonny when the desertion occurred, so no one had been too sorry to see him go. Only four people—Spinelli, Jason, Shawn, and Carly herself—knew for sure that he still lived. Spinelli had tracked him down and found that not only had he made contact with Brenda and Alec, but he'd also gotten himself a new island. It appeared that story was finally getting its happy ending. And since Carly had one of her own, she felt no need to begrudge anyone else theirs.

The doorbell ringing shook her from her reverie. She made her presence known in the living room, and placed the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. "Don't move. I've got it, guys."

_And as we trim the tree  
How much fun it's gonna be together, yeah ha  
This Christmas_

As they simply brushed her off and got back to business, Carly could only chuckle. Sweeping open the door, the visitor she found caused a warm grin to replace the fake smile she'd pasted there. "Evangeline!" she squealed. "I'm so glad you made it!"

She shared a hug with her, and closed the door. She really liked Shawn's girlfriend. In fact, since Courtney, she has become one of the closest friends Carly had. Evangeline Williamson had moved to Port Charles from a small town in Pennsylvania called Llanview. Diane had been in need of help as under Jason's control, the business flourished and expanded as always. It had been especially important since the success of "The Secret Life Damian Spinelli". The situation had only become truly desperate when Claire and Alexis had pulled out not long after Sonny's defection. Diane had become so overwhelmed that she'd taken to growling threats about charging five and ten times her normal rate to represent Jason and Carly's ever-amassing interests and assets, both separate and joint.

Gia Campbell and Evangeline's separate but timely arrivals had been JUST what the doctor ordered. Both proved to be incredible assets because while both were well-versed in various areas of law, they each came with their areas of expertise making it possible for them to effectively split the work pretty evenly between them and still be available to pinch hit in other areas. Her face softened as Carly thought of how blessed she felt to be able to call both women her friends.

"Thanks for the invite. Diane and Gia ganged up on me again, and reminded me of that pact they outvoted me on. I don't know why I agreed to something as cheesy and cliché as "One for all and all for one" in the work load. Now it's a majority rules situation just to decide if we're ready leave at the end of the day. And considering it IS the holidays, they had plans," she chuckled proving she wasn't really bothered at all. Her mellow, go-with-the-flow attitude was a perfect balance for her and Gia's more outgoing personalities.

"Let me see if I can guess," Carly snickered, her eyes dancing as she tapped her chin in a playfully thoughtful way. "Diane has a date with a certain bar owner by the name of Coleman for a private game of strip pool, and Gia is having dinner with the Prince's Quartet and Matt."

"Be nice, Carly," Evangeline demurred, knowing where Carly's mind had gone. "She's really not that bad."

"Hey. One, this is MY house so I'll say what I want," she snapped mulishly. "And two, while I'll be eternally grateful to the little guttersnipe for allowing Jake to save Josslyn, I still don't trust or like her." And with that, stuck her tongue out, causing Evangeline to burst into a fit of humor.

Gia's return had brought Laura's sons both to attention and they'd quickly found themselves battling for the same woman's affections once more. Unfortunately for their plans, Gia had been dead set on ignoring them both. In the end, it had proven a plan doomed to failure as she had forged a deep friendship with Lucky, while her heart had returned to the Prince—where it had always been in truth. But as was often the case in Port Charles, just as things began to settle, chaos came back to reign supreme in the form of Emily's return from the dead. That had been truly interesting as it had been very confusing for both Nikolas and Gia, until it became all too clear that Emily's heart belonged to Lucky and vice versa.

It had taken a while for ALL of the shockwaves to die down from that one, but it had, eventually. Carly had been sitting back waiting to have to neutralize Little Lizzy Webber, but had been shocked when she'd done more to help than hinder their paths to true love. It had forced Carly to have a grudging respect for the little pixie. Kind of. Then, Carly had seen the writing on the wall for Liz and Patrick's little brother, Dr. Matt Hunter, and it all became clear. Now the six of them were thick as thieves, not unlike the original quartet had been. A lot had changed in a little over a year.

_Presents and cards are here  
My world is filled with cheer and you, ohh yeah  
This Christmas  
And as I look around  
Your eyes outshine the town, they do  
This Christmas_

Leading the way to the living room, Carly called out, "Hey, Shawn, that was just the delivery of your Christmas present a little early. What do you think?"

A huge grin split his face at the sight of her. "I swear, Carly, you sure know how to spoil a guy. Have I mentioned that you have excellent taste? Because this is EXACTLY what I wanted for Christmas. Hey babe."

"Hey Shawnie," she giggled stepping into his waiting embrace and accepting his passionate welcome.

She let them go for a moment, but when it became clear that they were showing no signs of stopping, Carly cleared her throat. "Vangie, Shawnie, come on, guys. I've got impressionable teens, well, young adults here. No giving them ideas."

Evangeline blushed as Shawn pulled back roaring with laughter, "As if you and Jase haven't given them enough ideas for ten kids' lifetimes."

"Hey, hey, hey! None of that kinda talk, Uncle Shawn," Morgan piped up earning him an approving grin from his mother.

"Yeah, they're our parents, man," Michael added catching his brother's thought easily. "That's so gross. Are you actually TRYING to scar us for life?"

"Hey," she laughed throwing a handful of popcorn at her eldest. "You, quit the comedy and tell us how Steffy, Stephanie, and the rest of their insane family are."

"They're great, mom," Michael replied smiling, but slightly flushed. "Stephanie actually passed her first annual check-up with flying colors… still completely cancer free. But I spent most of my time trying to talk her down from her latest crazy scheme."

"What is my future daughter-in-law up to now?" she asked eyes twinkling with amusement.

"MOM!" he snapped indignantly as he flushed slightly again. "We've been through this. We're just friends, but Dollar Bill Spencer and his son, Liam are back to messing with her again. She's feeling really confused and hurt and—"

"She's ready to lash out, huh?" Jason added wrapping his arms around Carly's waist. "And you told her to count to 10 and call you before she does anything crazy."

"Works for you and mom," he quipped blushing scarlet once his words registered, and he recognized his own insinuation.

"Hey, I couldn't have picked a better future daughter-in-law myself. And I practically did pick her," Carly snarked before sobering slightly. "Now my advice to you is if she asks you to pretend to be the father of her child, tell NO ONE unless it's me or your dad, and then marry her as soon as I can get the wedding together. Also, do NOT let it drag out for nearly TWENTY YEARS."

"Are you ever gonna let me live that down?" Jason grumbled.

"Do you think I'll ever beat you at pool fair and square?" she asked receiving a glance that was both mutinous and cocky, and so uniquely Jase. "Now as I was saying, I also have one request. Please hold off on kids for a couple of—five or ten years or so. Because, you see, I'm not ready to be a grandma and your Grandma Bobbie is DEFINITELY not up to being a great-grandma."

"Honey, leave him alone," Jason chuckled kissing her cheek as Michael seemed to fight the urge to blush even more brightly.

"Yes, dear," Carly agreed although it was obvious she wanted to continue.

"I swear, Jase," Shawn said in awe. "You are a miracle worker, man."

"Shut up!" Carly snarled playfully as she through a handful of tinsel at him.

"Can we finish decorating this tree before Shawn and Joss eat all the popcorn," Morgan sighed trying to help take the heat of his brother, and receiving a grateful nod for his efforts.

"Snitch!" Shawn laughed throwing the piece he'd been about to eat at Morgan.

"Oooooh, Unca Shawn! You said a bad word!" Joss gasped eyes wide with shock.

Everyone erupted into laughter and Shawn tried to apologize for saying his "bad word". After that, they got back to the business of tree trimming.

_Fireside__is blazing bright  
We're caroling through the night_

Carly stood adjusting the lights for probably the tenth time when she found a small box addressed to her under the tree. She leapt at it her eyes alight with sheer excitement.

"Who is this from?" she asked shaking the box and looking around in search of Jason.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, the doorbell rang.

"Perfect timing," he muttered, snatching the box from her grasp. "I'll take that! You get the door."

She gave him her best pleading look, but when he showed no signs of buckling, she went answer trying to mask her pout at having to wait for her gift AND having her family time interrupted. Once the door opened, voices began caroling. A delighted smile filled her face, only to slacken in shock, when she started recognizing the motley crew of carolers.

Then, taking advantage of her shock, they began entering her home, starting with Gia leading Nikolas, Spencer and Caroline Lesley with Jax, Alexis, Kristina, and Molly. They were quickly followed by Lucky, Emily, Aiden, and Little Lila Page. The obviously expecting Elizabeth brought Cameron and Matt Hunter who had Patrick, Robin, Emma, Maxie and Spinelli in tow. Two pixies in quick succession slipped by her before the shock could wear off enough for her to react. But it appeared the shocks were only just beginning as Edward, Monica, Tracy, Ned, Lois, and Brooklynn came waltzing past a speechless Carly. Just when she thought the processional was ending, Luke and a newly clean Lulu stepped across the threshold.

"Lulu!" Carly gasped hugging her tightly.

Oddly, they had reconnected just as Lulu was finally admitting her problem. When she went to rehab three months ago, everyone had recognized it had been regaining that deeply complicated bond and not wanting to lose it again that had convinced Lulu to go so she could get her life back on track.

"Merry Christmas, Carly," she whispered tears clogging her throat.

"Now, Caroline, you're holding up the progress," Luke's voice sneered into the silence following the songs ending, but when she pulled back to snarl her response, she found she was in for yet another bombshell.

"Lucas? Momma?"

"Merry Christmas, sis," Lucas chuckled accepting her hug.

"Merry Christmas, baby!" Bobbie chuckled through tears.

When she had finally released and been released, she realized her eyes were still closed. She opened them to find Jason at her side grinning at her, his eyes dancing the way they did when he was going to surprise her.

_And this Christmas, will be yeah  
A very special Christmas, for me yeah_

"Jase, you did all this for me?" she gasped.

"Like there's anything the man wouldn't do for you, Caroline," Luke retorted.

"Luke?" Bobbie whispered her voice still carrying as she moved to stand beside him.

"Yeah, Barbara Jean?"

"Put a sock in it, will ya?" she told him.

Jason's laughter brought her attention back to him. He looked into her eyes and handed her back the box she found just before this whole thing had start. "Go ahead and open it. It's an early Christmas present."

With hands that trembled, she tore away the wrapping paper and found a robin's egg blue jewelry box. "I didn't even know you knew about Tiffany's," she whispered at a loss for what to say.

"Well, I learned," he answered simply. "Open it."

When she obeyed, it was to find the most beautiful, black and white diamond engagement resting in the center of a glittering gem incrusted charm bracelet.

"Each charm represents an important event in our past," he explained as he fastened the bracelet around her wrist.

Her breathing grew shaky as he lifted the ring free and dropped to one knee. As Shawn, Evangeline, Michael, Morgan, and Joss moved forward into her line of sight, she looked around at their family and friends surrounding them in shock and awe. When he took her hand, her gaze returned to his and she barely breathed his name, "Jase."

"Carly, you given me more than I could have ever dreamed of when I woke up from that coma over 20 years ago. You've shown me that love is all that matters in the end and if you love hard enough, even your wildest dreams can come true. And a life with you is the wildest dream anyone could ever have. Now, I'm asking you to make this dream come true last the rest of our lives so I can do the same for you. Because I'd say it's definitely my turn to make your dreams come true." When she continued to stare in awed silence, he went on. "I seem to remember you saying you'd earned a big, splashy ring and proposal, so how'd I do?"

"I don't think you could be more perfect," she whimpered nodding as tears poured down her cheeks. "You know you're gonna give a complex, right? Now, ask me already so I can say yes!"

"Will you—"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Now put that ring on my finger and kiss me!" she demanded.

"Impatient and bossy to the end," he chuckled sounding a little choked up himself as he complied.

"And you love me for it," she giggled as he stood.

"I love you for everything," he retorted before taking her mouth in a passionate kiss to seal their newest pact.

Spontaneous applause broke out as they took another step toward forever. And then their moment ended as Spencers, Quartermaines, Cassadines, and everyone else in attendance hurried forward to congratulate the happy couple and to get a better look at her new jewelry. Spinelli and Michael were quick to reassure Jason that everything from beginning to end had been caught on video and would be edited for. Jason smiled knowing they'd want to look back on this moment through the years. One more step forward on the road to forever.

_And this Christmas, will be yeah  
A very special Christmas, for me yeah_


	8. Epilogue 2: Thankful For Everything

******Author's Note:** _Sorry I've been out of touch guys, but I wanted to drop 2 chapters for each of my stories! In the case of THIS one, I'm gonna hit you with the final 2 epilogues AND the M-rated slice of life, **Motivation**._

**Epilogue********#2:** Thankful For Everything

Carly stood hugging herself and staring into space. To the casual observer, she might appear to be simply looking out the window. But to the man who knew her better than anyone else, it was clear that she was staring into the past—their past. He could even see where her mind had gone.

**_I can be an asshole of the grandest kind  
I can withhold like it's going out of style  
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone  
who is as negative as I am sometimes_**

_Jason expected to open the door to Emily, but as usual, Carly was right where he least expected her to be. He let her in, and she was clearly nervous. "How's Sonny?"_

_"Oh, he's better. He's upstairs," he replied quietly knowing there was a reason she was there._

_Carly looked toward the staircase desperate to avoid his eyes. "Ok. I'll be quiet."_

_Jason couldn't take any more so he stated the obvious, "You didn't come here to check on Sonny."_

_She took a deep breath as she looked at her hands "Um—Ok. I probably should have told you this a long time ago, but I came and you were gone. So, you know, Sonny—"_

_"What?" he demanded startling her. He took control of himself and asked again. "What, Carly? What is it?"_

_Carly her head bobbed as she glanced at him before pacing away. "I had to get Michael out of that rose garden, you know," she rambled on the verge of tears. "He was looking for you. I could tell he was. And I was afraid he was going to start screaming, "Dada, dada, dada, dada, dada." See, there was this big party there. They were acting like there was something to celebrate. You know, in the rose garden, of course. Not in the main house. Not in the pool. I've never seen A.J. so happy in my entire life."_

_Jason took a deep breath and tried again. "Carly, just tell me. Just tell me what it is."_

_Carly inhaled deeply and nodded. "Ok. A.J. decided to change Michael's name to Quartermaine. Michael Alan Quartermaine."_

_Jason froze. Inside he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, but he controlled it for her because he could tell she was hurting enough for both of them. "Now Michael knows who he is."_

_She recoiled as if he'd slapped her." Don't do that," she begged as tears threatened to pour down her face. "Jase, don't pretend like the last year never happened."_

**_I am the wisest woman you've ever met.  
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.  
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen  
And you've never met anyone  
Who's as positive as I am sometimes_**

_Seeing she was hurt more by his attempt at indifference, Jason nodded and led her to the couch to sit. "Last night, I woke up a little past midnight," he explained. "I heard Michael crying for me. I was halfway to his old room before I realized—I can't be his family anymore. I don't want him to remember last year. I don't want him to remember me."_

_Carly bit back her tears. "Yeah. That is why you left, isn't it? To protect him? And protect me, right?"_

_"Yeah," he breathed painfully. _

_Carly: nodded as her mind spun to make the connections that would make everything ok for both of them. "Ok. I understand that now. I really do. You didn't want to hurt us. And—I—I know that if you hadn't come back—I don't know, Jase. You know, I just get scared, man, and I—I do stupid things."_

_Jason couldn't help the chuckle—a mix of derision and humor—that escaped. "Yeah, no kidding."_

_Carly nodded accepting his response, but continued speaking. "But it's always for you. I mean, it's always for us. Even now. Look at us. You—you left to protect Michael. And I married somebody else so I could be with you. Kind of makes sense, doesn't it?" she said, her voice taking on a slightly hysterical tone. "And except for Michael, you're the most important person in my whole life. You're the only one who's never lied to me. You're the only one who doesn't want to change me into something, anything. I can just be myself with you."_

**_You see everything, you see every part  
You see all my light and you love my dark  
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed  
There's not anything to which you can't relate  
And you're still here_**

_"You know, when you showed up that night, it was raining. You were so scared. You needed me. You asked me to take care of Michael, and that's - that's when my life started. A life I thought I could never have, more than anything I could ever imagine." He knew that this might be his last chance to make her se all that she had been to him and he had to make sure she knew. "It was all because of you. It's true, Carly, you are a lot of trouble." Carly's laughter took on that hysterical edge once more. "You make things more complicated than they are, but—you showed me new things. You gave me a year and a half that no one can take away. Nothing will change that." Jason stared into her eyes begging her to understand._

_"You're dumping me, right? You're dumping me," Carly said in fear and disbelief._

_"Carly, come on, you're married to somebody else," Jason said, unable to hide the pain that brought. His fault Carly was married to AJ, because he had too much pride to take a chance and stop it. He'd known that was what Carly wanted—she waited for. But he's been a coward, and he didn't. And she'd decided she had to prove herself to him yet again._

_"I don't care," Carly snapped._

_"Well, you—you have to sneak around. You lie to AJ—you lie to Michael," Jason explained weakly._

_"I don't lie to Michael," Carly swore._

_"Well, you will if—" Jason paused when the words froze in his throat. "If things stay the way they are, even AJ's gonna catch on."_

_"I can take care of AJ," Carly retorted in tears._

_"I can't do it, Carly. I can't turn around and wonder if you're gonna be there. Here - at the warehouse, with no warning."_

_"Aren't you ever glad to see me?" Carly asked pleadingly._

He knew he couldn't say what his heart was screaming.—that he was always glad to see her—that he was never as happy as when he saw her. He would never make her understand if he told her the whole truth. "Yes. But, then I have to let you go again. Until you show up the next time. Then, I have to let you go all over again." Letting her go was the worse pain he had ever experienced. He had thought it could get no worse than with Robin and Sonny, but letting go of Carly and Michael was proving him wrong. Because it reminded him that could have been his because he had made so many wrong choices that they might never really be his. "I can't - I can't do it." Jason felt his body propelled from the comfort so close yet so face on the couch and paced over to the mantle.

"Well, we'll work something out," Carly assured him desperately, as she waved her arms in frustration. "I can call before I come, I can send you smoke signals."

"Carly," Jason gasped as he fought tears. "Don't come up with any more plans."

Carly searched her mind for a way to fix things—a way to make him see reason before settling on simple truth. "I'd do anything to be with you."

He should know that_, Carly thought feeling stupid for stating the obvious. After everything, they had been through that she would lie, cheat, steal, kill… God, she'd crawl through broken glass to be with him. Hadn't she already sold herself to his brother and the Quartermaines to prove that to him? Wasn't that enough?_

"Will you leave AJ?"

Carly's nod was almost instantaneous, as she gave him the truth without hesitation.

"Will you drag Michael through another custody fight?" Jason asked. His question was met with silence as she fought to make herself say yes. But he was the only man she could not lie to and Michael was the only person she would put before everything—even the love of her life, Jason. He felt his heart swell with love as her apologetic eyes meet his. Knowing she loved their son enough to sacrifice her dream of being with him, only made him love her more. And that made the knife in his heart twist even as he felt his determination to find the arsonist redouble. Jason knew he would only get one shot at AJ if he handled things carefully enough, and it would be with the information that he hired someone to burn down the warehouse. He was still waiting for an affidavit.

**_I blame everyone else, not my own partaking  
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating  
I'm terrified and mistrusting  
And you've never met anyone as,  
As closed down as I am sometimes._**

_"Jason?" Carly asked, walking towards him. Jason turned to drink in the sight of his Carly as she moved closer her love pour out at him through her eyes. "I love you, and—I know you hate it when I say that. I know it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me, but… I know that—I know that you love me too," Carly whispered._

_In her head, she was begging him to say the words… just once. She just needed him to give her some kind of hope. But Jason just stared at Carly. He stared so intently that, she could almost swear she heard him say the words._

_"And I'll always love you," Carly said. She started crying again and she turned away._

_When Jason reached out, and gently touched her shoulder, it was a shock to them both._

_Carly immediately spun into his embrace. "Hey, hey," he whispered quietly over her whimpers._

_He pushed Carly back to give them a little distance. But there was no way he could let her get too far as his hands reached up to cup her faces. He felt like his mind was warring with his heart. He felt himself moving without his head's permission and tucked her hair behind her ear. His thumbs moved to brush her tears away with he felt himself fall helplessly into the depths of her endless chocolate gaze._

_She never thought anyone could really love her even after all that she did to destroy everything she touched in the name of love, but she knew he did. It was there in the crystal blue clarity of his captivating eyes. So when his face came closer, she held her breath and prayed that finally his heart might win against his head. She could almost feel that kiss that could change everything between her and Jason. He just had to pull her closer to him and let go. one kiss, and they would go from him breaking up with her to him making love to her. But once again it wasn't to be she saw the flash of hesitation a second before his forehead touched hers. She started crying again and held him tighter as the fear released once more at the realization that he would really let her go. "Oh God, I love you."_

_Jason pulled back and Carly followed suit with a hysterical chuckle as she wiped away her tears._

_"I'm sorry," Carly said. She had to stop hurting him. She had to be unselfish and take responsibility for this mess and not make this harder on him with her own over-the-top emotion._

_"It's okay. You have to go home?" Jason asked._

That's where I want to go Jase. Let me go home instead of the Quartermaine Hell_, she thought desperately fighting to hang onto whatever control she had managed. But she managed to say nothing allowing a nod to be her response._

_As the reached the elevator, she turned and offered a watery grin. "Aren't you going to give me any money for a cab?"_

_With a slight smile, he pulled out his billfold and counted out some money. He took her outstretched hand and placed the money inside before turning her hand over and kissing it with all of the desperate love he fought to hold back._

**_I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.  
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.  
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known  
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes._**

He knew that was the first moment in their past that they both ever truly believed their dreams had might not survive to become reality. Jason moved forward and rested his hands on her shoulders. He watched as they sagged and she released a breath along with all of the tension of the past. Her eyes even drifted shut. He moved closer and he body seemed to instinctively melt into his waiting embrace.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

She immediately shook her head. "No, Jase," she sighed. "I'm sorry. I—I"

"Shh, Carly, listen," he said stopping whatever she'd been about to say as he turned her in his arms. He took her face into the palms of his hands and lifted it so that their gazes locked. "I love you. We're married. We have a beautiful family."

She cut in desperate to make him understand. "I know, Jase, and I know I do a lot of crazy things, but—"

He cut her off with a kiss. "You are the best and the worst things that have ever happened to me in my life," he whispered. "My only regret is that I waited as long as I did to claim what you always offered me so freely. But as much as I would love another child, I can't lose you. You can't leave me. Not now that I've finally gotten it right. You are everything to me, Carly."

"You won't, Jason. I promise. I have waited for so long to finally have my dream come true and I want that last little piece of the puzzle. It may seem greedy or selfish, but I am both of those things and you know that so it shouldn't come as a surprise. You promised me we could make my dreams come true. We have the chance to give Josslyn and the boys another brother or sister. And we're gonna do it, Jase. We are. It's gonna be hard, and you'll have to remind me to breathe and count to 10—a lot, but in seven or eight months, we're gonna welcome this baby into our family."

**_You see everything, you see every part  
You see all my light and you love my dark  
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed  
There's not anything to which you can't relate  
And you're still here_**

"You never fight fair, do you, Carly?' he sighed letting his forehead drop to rest against hers.

"Nothing worth having is worth chancing by fighting fair for it," she pouted.

Jason could feel the laugh building inside him from her twisted Spencer logic. Giving her a wry smile as he lifted his head to look at her, he quipped, "I thought the expression was 'Anything worth having is worth fighting for'?"

That earned him an eye roll. "Blah, blah, blah. That is what weak people have to tell themselves to pump themselves up for a fight. But I'm a Spencer and a Morgan, so I know the fight is coming and it's just a matter of deciding how badly I want or need to win it."

Jason threw his head back as the laughter exploded from his chest. "You're insane. You know that, right?"

"Well, you're in love with the wackjob so what does that make you?" she snapped back playfully so filled with joy at the sight of him finally smiling again.

"Desperately in love with you and terrified of losing you," he replied as his laughter turned to tears. Her heart throbbed as she pulled him into her arms and let him cry.

"Jason Morgan, I have spent the better part of my life in love with you. Now that I have you and everything is about to be perfect, how could you think for one second that I would not be right here to enjoy it?" she demanded fighting tears. "And to gloat over those damn pixies and their stupid supporters who doubted me? Do you think I'm going to let this town of the hook that easy after all these people have put me through? No, I am going to bring this baby into this world, help you raise him or her, and gloat at every given opportunity about my spectacular husband and incredible kids."

"Like you don't already?" he smirked as his tears subsided.

"Well, I think I've earned it," she pouted. "Besides, I didn't get to the most important part. I am going love you and grow old with you so that I can still be chasing you around even when I'm forced to use a walker to do it."

Letting the laughter that marked their life together act as a balm to his soul yet again, he cupped her face in his hands. "I'm gonna hold you to that, you know?"

"Feel free. Have I ever broken a promise to you, Jase?" She continued when he shook his head no, "And I won't start now."

Their mouths met in a rush of fear, love, and hope.

**_What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know  
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go_**

A few hours later, Jason stood at the head of the Quartermaine table as everyone waited for him to speak so they could eat the traditional pizza dinner as yet another turkey had met it demise on the way to the table. He and Carly had already made their announcement, which had been met with equal parts hope, love, excitement and worry. But as his gaze met that of each member of his family briefly, he found himself becoming more settled and even a little more hopeful. When his eyes finally came to rest on her bottomless, coffee gaze, he knew just what he wanted to say.

"What am I thankful for? Everything."

**_You see everything, you see every part  
You see all my light and you love my dark  
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed  
There's not anything to which you can't relate  
And you're still here_**

**_And you're still here  
And you're still here...  
_**_~Everything, Alanis Morrisette_


	9. Epilogue 3: Save Me From Myself

******Epilogue #3:** Save Me From Myself

She stood in the gloom of the night and looked around. A smile filled her face as she struck the match and watched the flame ignite and glow…

**_It's not so easy—loving me.  
It gets so complicated,  
All the things you've gotta be.  
Everything's changin',  
But you're the truth.  
I'm amazed by all your patience—  
Everything I put you through._**

"_Jason Morgan, I can't! I WONT! I don't care if you say the roads flooded out from some freak summer STORM! I don't care! You have to fix this, Jason! I can't—I don't care if you have to carry me or push that damn SUV or we have to swim, but I cannot—WILL NOT DO THIS! NOT HERE! NOT NOW! JA-ASE!"_

_"Carly, CALM DOWN!" Jason sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked around the room in the flickering candlelight bathing his mostly nude beautiful wife in its glow. "Why did I think I wouldn't be dealing with your PLANS gone wrong once we got married?"_

_"Because you were too happy to have me to dwell on the down side?" she grinned as sweat gleamed on her lovely face. "And you've loved almost all of my schemes since we got married. They usually end a lot more pleasurably than this one. OW!"_

_"FUCK!" he snarled rushing from the window to his VERY pregnant wife's side to help her through her latest contraction. "Come on, baby. Just breathe and count to ten."_

_Carly couldn't help the chuckle that burst forth while she fought to breathe through her contraction. "I hate you, Jason Morgan," she gasped sounding slightly hysterical. "TWO WEEKS, JASON! Dr. Lee said two weeks! All I wanted was one romantic night with my husband. Was that so much to ask? I just wanted to feel sexy and have the night be special!" Her face became a picture of sorrow and torment as her hormones took yet another sudden swing towards tears._

_"Oh, this is special, Carly," Jason snorted._

_"JASON!"_

Carly smiled as she thought of how insane that night had been. How insane she had been, especially. She moved happily from candle to candle lighting each to create the right ambiance. When she'd lit the final candle, she lifted her matchstick and blew it out with a puff of air.

**_When I'm about to fall,  
Somehow you're always waitin'  
with your open arms to catch me.  
You're gonna save me from myself—  
from myself, yes.  
You're gonna save me from myself._**

"_I can't do this, Jase!" she panted on the verge of panic. "I can't! I cannot give birth to the twins in a CABIN in the woods that used to be a BOXCAR!"_

_"Carly—" Jason said coolly in an effort to calm her._

_"No, Jase!" she snapped. "I'm giving birth to the twins in a beautiful maternity suite that I've designed specifically for our family. You'll be there and Mama and Michael and Morgan and Lucas and Lulu and Shawn, and Gia and Vangie and Steffy's flying in to be here for us and Michael and Luke and Lucky and Emily and even Monica and Edward because they're Quartermaines and pushy and your family—"_

_"Carly!"_

_"—and you love them and they love you even though they drive us all crazy, but I drive you crazy, too, and you still love me!" She rambled desperately. "And Jax will have Josslyn that night and Jason, the DRUGS! Jase, there'll be DRUGS there! You forget I've done this twice before without them and I want the drugs, Jase! I WANT THE DRUGS!"_

_"CARLY!"_

"Yeah, Jase?" she whimpered as she felt another contraction building.

_"I can see the head," he replied flatly. "Now, I need you to calm down! You can do this, baby! We're together and you always say we can do anything as long as we're together, right? And you never lie to me, do you?"_

_She nodded reflexively. "Right. Right!"_

_"So when I say 'push', I need you to push!" he directed._

_"I never thought I'd live to see the day," she joked weakly. "All our lives it's been 'Carly, you push too much!', 'Don't PUSH so hard, Carly!', and 'Stop PUSHING, Carly!' Now, we're trapped in this cabin and you're ready to change your tune. It's all—"_

_"PUSH!"_

Carly shook her head as she grabbed the container of rose petals and began sprinkling them across their bed. She chuckled to herself as she remembered the look on Jason's face when he realized that giving birth to twins would not to be the biggest surprise that night. The big surprise had been that she wouldn't be giving birth to twins—she'd be birthing triplets: Madeline Jean, Jacqueline Lu, and their biggest surprise, Mason Jacob Morgan-Maddy, Jacey, and MJ, for short.

It had taken a while to talk her down from the lawsuit against Dr. Lee, but as always Jason had managed. They had been forced to spend the whole night, but it had been a special moment that really gave them a chance to bond as a new family. Not that Carly should have been so surprised, special Morgan family moments seemed to be par for the course for their little retreat in the woods. That immediately brought to mind their first night there together. He'd kidnapped her from one of a million planning sessions for their wedding with promises of a special surprise for his bride.

**_My love is tainted by your touch.  
Cuz some guys have shown me aces,  
But you've got that royal flush.  
I know it's crazy everyday.  
Well tomorrow may be shaky,  
But you never turn away._**

"_You're really not gonna tell me," she'd wheedled as he turned down a battered lane bringing the cabin into view. "You rented a cabin?"_

_He pulled the SUV to a stop and was silent for a moment. "When I woke from the coma, I was already Jason Morgan. I never knew Jason Quartermaine, but that was all his family—our family—saw. It was all they wanted to see. And I can understand that better now after everything we went through when Michael woke up."_

_Carly sat silent in complete shocked that he was opening up without her having to pry using her emotional crowbar._

_"It was hard and confusing and lonely to have no one see me when they looked at me. Just the broken version of a better, more interesting person I never knew," he continued his voice so devoid of motion he could have been talking about someone else's life instead of his own. "Meeting Robin and Sonny made things hurt less and feel less lonely, although I didn't even realize that was what I was feeling because there was so much anger. I broke away from the Quartermaines and ended up here."_

_Carly looked around and frowned. "But I thought you lived—the boxcar?"_

_"They tore it down so I bought the land and had this place built," he explained. "The boxcar was the first place I ever felt real and free without anything of Jason Quartermaine coloring it. And I need to bring the first person who ever made me feel that way here because you deserve to know how much you really mean to me."_

_"Oh, god, Jason!" she gasped as tears fell as he hopped out and came around to her side._

_"Things have gotten so crazy with planning the wedding, I thought maybe we should take a moment to remind us what it all really means," he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her._

_"I love you more with every beat of my heart, Jason Morgan," she whispered happily. "I love my surprise!"_

_"That's not all," he grinned as he led her inside._

She smiled and hummed as she set up the champagne glasses. For a man who could hide his emotions so well, when he shared them, he could be the most romantic man alive. But only with her and for the rest of their lives. It made doing things for him so easy because he filled her with such love and joy. She set up the last of their evening and looked around.

Perfect, except— She looked down and noticed she hadn't changed into her ensemble for the evening. It was never necessary for her to dress up for him because he loved her in everything she wore, but she liked to surprise him. Sometimes she'd wear tight tops and teeny little skirts like when they first met. Sometimes she'd do jeans and a tee. There had even been a couple of occasions when she'd worn costumes that he'd been surprisingly receptive to. She knew he would enjoy her outfit for tonight's festivities as well.

**_Don't ask me why I'm cryin'.  
Cuz when I start to crumble,  
You know how to keep me smilin'.  
You always save me from myself—  
from myself, myself.  
You're gonna save me from myself._**

"_Michael? Steffy?"_

_Carly turned to her fiancé in confusion as Morgan came barreling out of the other room. "Joss will be waking up soon. Is she here?"_

_"Am I to assume that I am the she in question?" Carly grinned looking around in shocked amusement. "What have you guys been up to?"_

_"No questions, Momma," Michael asserted taking her arm as Steffy did the same on her other side. "You just go with Steffy and she'll bring you out when it's time. Love you."_

_And with an affectionate shove, the door was closed on her, Steffy, and a sleeping Joss. "What is going on?"_

_"No time for questions, Carly," Steffy chuckled with a shake of her head. "If you love Jason Morgan as much as you say, you'll go into that bathroom and change. And because I'm not COMPLETELY heartless, if you're quick enough, I might answer a question or two."_

_"You drive a hard bargain," Carly groaned with a squint of her eyes "But you win."_

_In the bathroom, she found her wedding lingerie and a beautiful yet simple white wedding dress. Her heart twisted in her chest as she realized what was going on. She hurriedly stripped. She found her favorite perfume and added it to her ensemble as she dressed. Ten minutes later, she padded out face clean and tears glistening._

_Steffy grinned and nodded fighting her own tears. "Here. These are for you."_

_Carly opened the first case to find her necklace and earring with a not that read, 'Something old.' Next box's note read, 'Something blue' and had a diamond tennis bracelet with a blue diamond heart charm. In the box marked 'Something borrowed' was his wedding band—on the back it said, 'I expect to get that back during the ceremony.' and Carly chuckled tearily reading it. The final box was obviously for something new and she found a new charm for her bracelet… a boxcar._

_That afternoon, in the garden behind the cabin, Father Coates performed a beautiful ceremony for just the six of them. They exchanged rings and promises and made their commitment to each other before God and their children. The kids took the SUV and dropped Father Coates at Queen of Angels. They left him Jason's motorcycle and they spent that weekend making love and new dreams for their future together._

She hummed as she slicked on a red lipstick that matched her dress exactly. They'd married again for their friends and family at Queen of Angels with the reception at Jake's. It had been beautiful, and Carly had loved every blissful second, but it somehow managed to only be second best to a tiny ceremony in the sun amongst flowers with just the man she loved more than any other, her kids, and her someday daughter-in-law.

Now, as she made her way to the stereo and hit play, their song quietly filled empty spaces. She turned her head and listened knowing the sound of his bike anywhere. The distinct sensation of wholeness filled her as she waited.

**_I know it's hard, it's hard,  
But you've broken all my walls.  
You've been my strength, so strong._**

"Babe!" his voice called as he threw open the door. She only had mere seconds to observe him, but she could see the stress and fatigue etched into every inch of him melting off of him as he looked around. "What?"

"Happy New Year's Eve, Jase!" her throaty voice said just above a whisper. She could feel the impact of his gaze on her body, which was artfully posed along their pool table. She watched the intense cerulean gaze go up in flames of desire when his mind processed the sight she made. "And before you say anything, I had a plan and it worked like a charm."

His eyes narrowed slightly at the word 'plan ', but he kicked the door shut and began pacing slowly towards her like a panther stalking its prey. "Oh, really?" his passion-roughened voice challenged.

"You, sir, have the night off. Shawn will be handling anything that comes up unless it's a dire emergency that **requires** your attention specifically," she explained dancing her fingers up and down her curves tauntingly. "I got him to play me in poker."

"I told him to never play a Spencer in games of chance," he growled, his desire steadily decivilizing him.

"He had to learn his lesson the hard way," she purred loving the feeling of being stalked. "Kinda like someone else I know. The triplets and Joss are with their Grandma Monica and Great-Grandfather."

"Any more plans?" he whispered from two feet his body tensing to pounce.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a few," she cooed. "You know a game of pool, a little close dancing, a little champagne." She nodded toward the two waiting flutes and the bottle of Dom in the ice bucket. "What do you think? Or maybe you could help me come up with a few other ways we could ring in the New Year."

"I think it wouldn't be New Year's without fireworks," he hissed removing his jacket and tossing it on the nearby couch.

She snapped her fingers pretending annoyance as she swung up into a seated position. "Well, darnit! I didn't bring any fireworks!" she pouted for affect. "You don't think you'd be able to help me out with that, do you?"

"How's this for fireworks?" he growled before pouncing and ravaging her mouth. He immediately lifted her and her arms legs wrapped around him.

"It's a start," she panted before he sank back into her mouth.

He began making his way toward the bedroom, but suddenly began spinning with her in his arms.

"What are you doing?" she breathed feeling a little dizzy.

"You said your plans included dancing and pool so I figured we could take care of the dancing on the way to the fireworks and come back later for pool," he whispered between biting kisses.

For some reason that escaped her passion-drugged mind, tears filled her eyes "I love you more than I ever though it was possible to love anyone. And I need you like I need my next breath to live."

His mouth crushing hers was his only response as he danced her over to their bedroom door. "Happy New Year's, love!"

**_And don't ask me why I love you.  
It's obvious your tenderness  
Is what I need to make me  
a better woman to myself—  
to myself, myself.  
You're gonna save me from myself.  
_**_~Save Me From Myself, Christina Aguilera_

**THE END**


	10. Slice of Life: Motivation--rated M

**Author's Note:** _I was inspired to write this after reading my ABC's fic, Afternoon Delight… Big ups to my ABC for all the help! You TOTALLY rock my socks! BTW… her fic opened up the GTTP-verse and shot out what will possibly be THREE sexy Jarly stories set BEFORE the final two epilogues… if Barb decides to come across with the goods! And here I thought my songfic series was done! But NO, Elvis had to go and get Barb going again! _sigh_ Oh, well! Hope everybody likes what I came up with!_

_Please be advised this story is not for minors or those uncomfortable with strong language and sexual scenarios. Please be advised before reading._

-

**Motivation**

He had been gone for THREE excruciatingly long weeks. If not for the very real if failed attempts on Sonny, Johnny, and their respective organizations, Carly would suspect Sonny's hand in Jason's absence. She would have been especially suspicious since he had taken to his usual seduction tactics, but she recognized that it was just typical Sonny trying to take advantage of a perceived weakness. At first, it had been fun to play along only to then shut him down with extreme prejudice each and every time. However, as Jason's absence stretched on and her temper continued to shorten, she'd finally gotten sick of him flashing those damn dimples and just called him on it and made it clear that he had as much chance of getting between her and Jason as the Wicked Witch of West had of surviving a rainstorm without protective gear. He'd tried to deny it, but when it became clear she wasn't buying his garbage, he claimed he was trying to protect Jason by testing her loyalty. The bruise she'd given him for that line of bull had taken three days to fade and earned her a visit from her elder son that she'd had to shut down quickly when he tried to reprimand her. Both Michael and Sonny eventually got back to behaving, but she didn't completely trust it from Sonny. Between that aggravation, running her business, raising Morgan & Joss and being away from Jason for so long after they'd FINALLY found their way back to each other, Carly had decided SOMETHING had to be done as SOON as he hit town.

And so her plan was born—much to Shawn's chagrin as he was the only one she'd trusted with details. She knew if Sonny found out he'd find some way to ruin it because he was having trouble realizing that his Latin charm and those dimples wasn't as irresistible as her fierce blue-eyed boy's many attributes. He simply wanted to prove his power and ownership over her, and it was a practice doomed to failure because she belonged to Jason Morgan lock, stock, and loaded gun barrel. As she peeked at the clock, she remembered the exhaustion clear in his voice as she'd begged him to meet her at Jake's only 10 minutes ago. She'd timed it carefully for just after he'd have been exiting the shower. He'd done his best to put her off, clearly hoping to deal with 'whatever drama she was in' until he'd gotten some sleep. But as usual, she'd been adamant and he'd been appropriately accepting. So she would get her way as she'd known he would and her plan was moving full steam ahead. Now she was left with the REALLY hard part: waiting.

_Go, go, go, go.  
__Oh, lover.  
Don't you dare slow down.  
Go longer.  
You can last more rounds._

Jason sighed at still feeling the exhaustion that had sunk into every inch of his aching body. He had pushed himself hard to track down their enemy and eliminate the threat while sending a clear message despite Sonny's wishes to be less immediate and direct with their response. Now that he was on his way back to having everything he'd lost and thrown away, he wasn't gonna let anyone or anything endanger it. His family was his world and he was going to give Carly a safer life with him than she'd had with Sonny so she never regretted giving him this chance.

Thinking of Carly at the moment was bittersweet. He'd of course wanted to see her and spend time with her, but he'd thought he could get a shower and at least a nap before seeing her and spending the night at her house in her arms, but she'd had other ideas. He'd barely made it out of the shower before getting a calling demanding he meet her at Jake's. He thanked God he'd at least gotten that hot shower before duty and love came calling again because it had helped wash away some of the weariness that had been dogging him this last week as he handled the business. He would settle for the lift he got whenever he was with Carly, even when she drove him crazy. God, how he'd missed that woman—his woman, finally in every way as she had always been meant to be. Maybe it was for the best because then he could take her home and go ahead and crash there.

He pulled up on his motorcycle with a nod to the guards as he noted her limo with a frown. Carly never used the limo anymore unless she'd been drinking or planning to, or she was too upset or distracted to drive. Worry began to filter through his exhaustion as neither boded well for the cause of her phone call demanding his presence. Slipping off his bike, he noted for the first time that Max and Milo's gazes were averted and they were intentionally trying to avoid making eye contact with him. That and the stammered greetings from them only stood to ratchet his concern higher, his frown deepening.

_What could be so bad that Shawn couldn't handle it and it left the Giambettis a stammering mess?_ Concerned, he hurried into the bar. It was dark and looked completely empty except for a light shining over the pool table. _Milk_ played hauntingly into the otherwise silent bar. "Carly?" he called out, the confusion and worry clear in his voice.

Always an expert in making an entrance, Carly suddenly appeared from the back stairwell in one of his old beat-up leather bomber jackets, a pair of ice pick high heels that consisted of chains & spikes, and the haunting scent she preferred mixed with her own unique scent of arousal. Slowly and seductively, she sauntered toward him, locking eyes. Jason's mind raced from confusion to annoyance to understanding before a last settling on simple arousal. As Carly came toward him, she began unzipping the jacket.

"My name is Caroline Leigh Benson Spencer, but most call me Carly," she purred. "And I am desperately addicted to one, Jason Morgan. I sleep in his t-shirts and boxers and cuddle his leather jackets just to feel close to him and smell his scent." She suited her actions to her words by bringing the leather to her nose and breathing deep. "I say his name countless times a day, but especially when I'm alone and pretending it's his hands caressing my skin instead of my own." Once again she demonstrated by trailing her fingers from her throat down her chest to the still half-zipped jacket. "My name is Carly and I'm addicted to Jason Morgan. It's been 3 LONG weeks since my last taste of him and I've fallen deep into withdrawals."

_Push harder.  
You're almost there now.  
So go, lover.  
Make mama proud._

She'd watched his rushed arrival from the shadows, with concern and fatigue riding him hard. and seeing him like that made her begin reconsidering her plan, but in the end, she was too stubborn to throw all of her hard work away. Once she'd seen arousal overwhelm his exhaustion when she made herself known she knew she'd made the right decision. She could feel sensation as tactile as any touch when his eyes began devouring her with that look of ravenous need. She watched his muscles relax and the retighten with a new type of tension. She loved when he got like this—when he became this primitive version of Jason. She could see that he was frozen in hunter mode and beyond speech when his eyes moved from simply watchful to the active tracking of the predator stalking its prey, awaiting its moment to strike.

When she reached the bar a few feet away from him, she removed his jacket and tossed it there, standing unashamedly nude. "That one is losing your scent," she teased closing the distance between them. "So I'm going to need something better to satisfy my need. Are you gonna give it to me?" Carly paused and surprised him by gripping the lapels of the jacket he wore and dragging him closer. "Or am I gonna have to take it?"

She could practically hear his control snap as he pounced with lightning speed. One second she was in control seducing and taunting him mercilessly and the next, her back was against the wall and her mouth was being ravaged. Her mind began to blur, but she sensed him pulling off his jacket and ripped open his t-shirt in her desperation to feel his skin against hers. Her groan harmonized perfectly with his growl of appreciation as her tender breasts crushed against bare chest. They had made love many times since reuniting and it had been beautiful and wonderful and satisfying every time, but this time would be different… like getting back to their roots. Primal, raw, no-holds-barred fucking. This would be all heat and mating with no kindness and sweet words and Carly knew she couldn't wait to burn in the flames of ecstasy.

_And when we're done,  
I don't wanna feel my legs.  
And when we're done,  
I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby._

Jason's mouth raced across Carly's skin with an abandon he could only ever have with this woman. His desperation to tasted and take growing with each newly reconquered inch. Free of encumbrance, his hand reached down to grip her hip and squeeze at the feel of her scoring his back with her nails in need to have more of him and release some of the pent of frustration. Feeling the leg at his hip convulsing slightly at such a simple touch from him only drove him deeper into the madness.

He found himself biting along her collarbone which produced a broken moan from her throat. Unable to even consider foreplay with his driving need to be inside his woman pounding at him he grabbed her hips viciously and lifted her against the wall. Her legs responded by wrapping around his waist immediately. He jammed two fingers of his left hand inside that sopping heat while his left hand fought to free his dick. He felt her ever-tightening walls stretch for him as he drove her recklessly towards her first peak. While she grew more mindless, he snarled all of the nasty, raunchy things he couldn't wait to do to her now that she had her to himself and how she was gonna take everything he gave her and not only would she love it she'd beg for more. Within moments, she shot over the edge into a quivering mess of fevered begging and sex-drugged whimpering.

Biting down a little roughly on her earlobe, he flicked his tongue over it to distract her from his fingers slipping free. Before she could take another breath, his dick was driving into her convulsing core as deep as he could go, setting off new shockwaves of pleasure in Carly.

"GOD, your pussy is a fucking miracle," he hissed in a combination of ecstasy and frustration. "So goddamned tight. Fuck."

He had no clue how she did it, but it was always like fucking her for the first time. It seemed every time he missed fucking her for even a day, she was tighter than the last time. His first thrust barely made it to the halfway point. "Please," she begged raggedly.

_But you can't stop there.  
Music's still playing in the background.  
You're almost there.  
You can do it; I believe in you, baby.  
So close from here…_

_Baby, I'ma be your motivation.  
Go, go, go, go.  
Motivation  
Go, go, go, go._

_Baby, I'ma be your motivation.  
Oh, lover  
when you call my name.  
No other  
can do that the same  
I won't let ya get up out the game, no.  
So go, lover.  
Gon' and make me rain._

"Don't worry, baby," he hissed. "You're gonna take every inch of this dick."

"Jase," Carly choked out convulsively as Jason forced the rest of way into her tight, dripping pussy.

Any semblance of control or sanity he'd though he possessed melted away under the sensations created by her pussy's viselike grip on his dick. He began hammering her needy body savagely as his mouth blazed across her skin desperate to feed on her taste. She clawed his back and shoulders helpless in the face of the incredible feelings. But that helplessness quickly became a fiery demand until it finally eclipsed rough fucking and they both exploded, her core milking him endlessly.

Using the last of his strength, he carried them to the bar and sat with Carly still impaled in his lap. "Definitely the best welcome home of my life," he mumbled tiredly into her breasts.

Carly chuckled between gasps for air, "And to think. You wanted stay at the penthouse all alone and take nap, but I know just how you can thank me for ignoring your plans in favor of mine."

"Oh yeah?" he groaned thrusting unconsciously to the rhythm of contraction and release she'd started.

"Oh, yeah," she purred. Then she lifted herself onto the bar, planting the thin metal heels of her stilettos on his thighs. "You may not be big on words, but I know that talented tongue of yours can come up with some way to say thank you." She let her thighs fall wide open. "Bon appetite."

_****__And when we're done,  
I don't wanna feel my legs.  
And when we're done,  
I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby._

_But you can't stop there.  
music's still playing in the background.  
you're almost there.  
you can do it; I believe in you, baby.  
So close from here…_

_Baby, I'ma be your motivation.  
__**~Motivation, Kelly Rowland**_

By the end of the night, Carly had thoroughly put Jason through his paces and made him come more times than he'd thought possible. He hadn't thought she could surprise him anymore, but she always managed. It started with the bottle of beer she'd produced & proceeded to pour down her body because she said she thought he looked thirst feasting on her clit. After he'd lapped up every drop, she'd slipped onto his lap and rode them both to glory.

After that, when they had disengaged and he'd moved over to a nearby table because he didn't think he could get hard again so soon, she'd handed him one of the beers she'd grabbed, taken a swig from the other, dropped to her knees in the dirty bar and proved him dead wrong until he came down her throat. When he miraculously remained hard, she rode him again this time with her back to him. She was merciless as she turned to smirk at him as she sent them both over the top once more before allowing him a break. As he watched, the energized Carly decided to play a game of pool while he rested, but the sight of her bending over the table taking shots unmindful of their nudity; he found himself motivated and growing hard yet again.

After bending her over the pool table mid shot and fucking her hard and fast one more time, they climbed the stairs to their room—or rather he climbed the stairs with Carly on his back as she complained of numbness in her legs. Even then, it wasn't over until early the next afternoon when something proved to be a greater motivation than each other: food

**THE END**


End file.
